Thirteenth

assalamualaikum and hello.

it's been wayyyyyyyyy too long since my last update. last update 2019 kut, omg! it's already first of August! I cant belive we're already on the second half of 2020. I dont even remember what I did during the first half of 2020. how about you guys? 

yes, I also undergo the MCO, RMO or PKP since 18th of March 2020. it's all because of COVID-19. I still remember during my first week of MCO, I'm almost hopeless because I dont know that to do. terperap dalam rumah and cant go out even to just buy groceries pun rasa susah because everyone's afraid of the virus. worst, at that time we still dont have the vaccine and there're too many cases in Malaysia and almost all around the world. 

MCO lasted for about 3 months. we also celebrated Ramadhan and Eid Fitri in a new norm. there's no bazar, no open houses, no visiting and absolutely no contact with others thru salam or hugging. alhamdulillah rn, all business and schools are back operating as usual but deep down I do misses MCO. I miss staying at home with my family and got nothing to do except contemplating on what I should cook for breakfast, lunch, kudapkudapan and dinner. I miss it but to ever going back to those days? it's a bit hard actually. I'm willing to do it for the sake of breaking the virus chain but it also means that business will be shut down again and there're so many people out there in a tight situation that they cant afford to experienced MCO again. let's just hope for the best! remember to always keep away from 3C, always wash your hand and mask on when you're going outside! 

how's you guys doing? is everything okay? 

I'm doing okay, insha Allah. I'm actually a teacher now. all praise to Him. finally I got posted to one of the school in my own hometown, alhamdulillah! this means that I'm still living with my family and can help my parents a bit hehehe. actually, I have a mixed feelings when I know that I'll be posting in my own hometown because I wanna gain different kind of experienced outside of my hometown but it's okay, I know Allah has a better plan for me. 

so, how's working life? truth to be told, this is not what I had in mind because during my practicum days all I ever did was teaching and help my senior in co-curricular activities. I never thought that it's gonna be this hard. too many things to do, documentations, events and activities. next week gonna be more tough and tiring because form 1, 2 and 3 will be back to school and I hope I can manage this well. I hope I can do better in teaching and in becoming a great teacher. 

I started to think whether I'm actually capable of being a teacher. it's such a big responsibility and I'm burden with the thoughts of helping my students to get A for the subject. I dont know whether I can do it or not. I dont know whether I have the strength to keep pursuing this job or not. I hope I can do well and everything gonna be okay. I know it's not gonna be a smooth journey but heyyyy, that's what makes this more fun and will be remembered right?

p/s: wish me luck pleaseeee!

fatinCullen